remembering them

not abating
but there
somehow each moment gets lost until all you're left with is regret

he died swinging by his neck from a branch in the woods
she lay at my feet playing with her golden hair and one breast
he held me in his arms as i cried after our fight
and so did he

he waited at the urinal hoping i'd notice and go over
he played with his penis in front of me
she showed me hers and i mine

we made rude jokes as we stood at the top of the stairs talking
she was afraid of my gaze as her boyfriend talked
i saw my friends graffiti in the middle of the night and smiled
i imagined the homeless woman was her

i waited in the hiding place till the lesson was over
she moved her foot against my bum
we hugged but i was so young and afraid
she grabbed my cock in her driveway
as our friends did the same

i looked at the photo and smiled as i saw a little girl hugging a little jamieboy

i wanted to kiss michela but i was afraid

first one for this time

tonight i'm angry
not like the before
with the caresses and one time tender hearted
with his stories of war and severed limbs
i step out into the night sky and he's lifting her
her tired heels and sore shoes
i wander past the pissers, fuckers and shouters
see the water
even the lines are empty
but back to her caresses
and the evocations of a bare time
no swinging from branches
just falling like leaves
angry stares
empty houses
no more will i dream tonight